did you know, that if you extend your bed time to 9am for a string of nights, or days, you will experience several epiphanies, some a little less profound, like your self-worth, because really, who gives a fuck about self-worth, and do you actually want to know my thoughts on a concept i can't quite grasp, and then you bring it up a few notches with more self-inflicted mental pain in the form of why why why???, preferably with Elliot Smith or Bright Eyes in the background, and of course, you top it off with the realisation that life is a journey, a fucking long one, which you are 100// grateful for, but you also cannot take it because losing sleep in exchange for Q&As you can get off a women's magazine at the hairdresser is a swift road to suicide, jk because we shall not use the word suicide lightly, i meant to say depression, also jk ha ha ha, so one night you decide to make peace with the emotional faggot in you till the next cycle hits, in the meantime, i have memes, self-depreciating jokes and lifting to keep me going

also, i'm giving blogger a chance to make it's comeback hu hu hu

We're born with millions of little lights shining in the dark

And they show us the way 

one lights up every time we feel love in our hearts 

one dies when it moves away

a month ago, I was counting the specks of dust glinting in the light of a 4am sunrise, the change I needed for a Mars Bars from the vending machine across the room and the hours I had before my Jurisprudence paper.

three weeks ago, I was counting the number of unwatched Suits episodes I had, the number of underwear to pack and the days, mostly the days.

a week ago, I was counting the exchange rate of the Pound against three different currencies, the walking distance between Metro A to tram station B versus Metro C to tram station A, and the number of McD burgers I had to get to rid of my foreign coins.

today, I'm up at 9am on a Sunday morning with over eight hours of sleep sipping on tea and honey and I'm sure I should go for a jog, roast a turkey, start picketing against the minimum wage.

sounds like a plan. 

we were so young, so sure, so naive.

sometimes I'm pretty damn sure that my insides are crumbling away like cheap store bought pastries.

a shit ton of coffee,  Panadols and Treaties to wade through in the next 2 weeks.

 that steep cliff looks almost comforting now.

jk.

i never learn haih.

pain on a scale of 1-10 true events only 1, mid crossing one of the busiest streets in London backpack's right strap breaks 2, going to class with laptop and law books backpack's left strap breaks 3, walking into window sill/slicing thumb along with garlic 4, 1RM deadlift/squat/walking after leg/back day 5, meeting someone new and messing it up three seconds later 6, pressing the next button on an old Instagram account 7, losing a pet dog 8, twelve thousand words dissertation paper 9, a breakup 10, giving up Kettle chips

Every semester, I fall into this ritual of blogging when assignments and finals are a day away, tempers are high and any less than 3 cups of coffee means you're not doing it right

(now I mostly just go on DotA and distract myself with buying wards and stacking camps)

Also, it keeps my mind off things.

I like having an outlet I can go to instead of sitting around for hours examining my feelings and beating myself up over.... stuff

Tip to cheer yourself up : 

1. Wake up one morning to the fattest birds and squirrels scuttling around the backyard

2. Buy a bunch of cheap bananas and bread (check the clearance shelf) and scatter bits of them on the ground

3. Make sure it's the right amount of distance from the window you'll be peeking from

4. Wait 30 minutes to 2 hours

(at one point there was at least 6 squirrels, but I couldn't get all of them in a picture)

I wish I could feed squirrels everyday....