想起过去也不知应该开心有那回忆还是觉得自己好愚蠢竟然做出曾经说过永远不会发生在我身上的事. 一年都过了, 哭也哭过了,  半年前,伤心也不再是不平常的事. 现在觉得, 遇见一个让你难过的人也不算是件坏事. 就算没使我更坚强 (HAHA) 但至少我以后对这种事, 也应该比较能应付.

人生经验吗
 (别人为了安慰我告诉我的. 也对啦)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

nah a post in chinese. GENG ANOT. sorry if some of the words are messed up at least I didn't translate everything to English hahaha

还是英各力寺好啦

it's ten minutes to 2 in the morning. and I'm sitting here, contemplating and ... reflecting.

(in other words, torn between another episode of RM or Chemistry)
(guess which one I picked I chia you kimchi)
(and if you don't like kimchi sorry too bad how can kimchi damn nice ok)

oh ya i wanted to blog about this in one of my prev posts but was distracted, so yeah since I remembered . OK i find it baffling when someone treats their closest friends like dirt (not as in the teasing / pulling pranks that sort, that's perfectly fine, it's not okay when it's constantly putting them down and telling them they're shit , and doing everything to drag down their self-esteem ) but oh look, when it's an acquaintance or a new friend , they're the sweetest creatures, like yeah look at me i have the biggest grin plastered on my face let's be friends whee of course i'll help you out i love your top whee .

why. i don't understand why a mere acquaintance ranks above someone who has always been there for you.

also right. it can't be that hard to be happy for someone can it. ok fine, it's normal to 'be jelly' , yeah you deserve a break too, yeah why her why him why not me. OKAY. but mean nasty comments in their faces , the offhand snarky remark just to watch them falter, anything to stop them from being happy . WHYYY.  okay la if you genuinely think that the color of her prom dress makes her look like a washed out pregnant woman ok lor go announce it to everyone and rub it in her face (even though i think i still think it's really mean) but if you don't and you're being nasty cause you can't stand someone looking good , gaining popularity, making more friends than you are, getting more likes on Facebook *inserts a million other scenarios.

IT'S SO DAMN MEAN.

and rather sad too. for you.

okay random rant bye bye

like.

Drives out on the main road for the first time
Loses driving license
Loses it at a hiking trial
Loses IC too
Doesn't realize it till months later.

I'm convinced that I'm the real life version of Bad Luck Brian -____-

anywayyyyyy. after Chem paper next Thursday I'll be done with AS ! (unless I'm retaking la HAIH)
unfortunately A2 classes start on the 25th . HAIH.

one week plus to catch up on sleep, exercise and eat healthily :D :D :D

*passes out from laughter.

for the past 2 months I've been Queen of Junk Food and Caffeinated Drinks 8)

 cakes and pressie for the birthday girl // idk why my hand is wrapped around that bowl of ice kacang, i wasn't being protective over it k, I swear i'm not that possessive over food! *defensive // attempt to exercise ends with me collapsing in a pool of my own sweat. after 10 minutes // I had 2 bars of chocolate around 4am. my only defense is that I need to eat while I study

(LOL just realize how huge those 2 bars were T___T)

 Korean food with Wendy // parents weren't around for a few weeks so I ended up cooking twice HAHA even I can't stand eating murukku and chips everyday , pan seared salmon // potatoes in jacket with some gravy

I'm sorry that my skills are so bad that i can't even take a pict of the sky without objects getting in the way (the palm tree and electric pole) anyway. pretty right the color! too bad it started pouring while i was standing outside admiring it fml // LOTS OF STRAWBERRIES // why my ponytail so effing short one // seriously why

 Tomyam steamboat @ Sg Rambai // I LOVE PIG'S TROTTERS OMG // dimsum opp college is still the cheapest, and tastes really good too :D  // New book from Wendy :)

Korean junk food for dinner // Mani-pedi session with Wan Qing :) // FINALLY LOR // Steamboat at Zi Wei Yuan, Raja Uda is sososoososososososososososo good

ok i really like eating . 

and i always have a good appetite. like always. i just don't reject food wtf

nice anot. we came all the way from Penang to Raja Uda for this LOL. 

and i damn chor lor, went and scraped my toe against the car door minutes after getting it done hahaha

ok going to watch more episodes of Running Man :D

oh and HAPPY DEEPAVALI :D BYE :D

haihhhhhh. haven't started studying. haihhhhhhhh. i'm gonna start now since it's exactly 2.30 (i'm a bit OCD when it comes to this)

haihhhhhhhhhhhhhh bye bye

shyte so brutal Chemi P2 and Business Studies P2 in a day then Bio P3 the next day die also lai bu ji have to start studying like maddddddddddddddddddddddddd tmr (ystd and today off day for me to watch tv and youtube till i forget everything i'd studied hahaha the irony)

tomorrow. tomorrow i will lock myself in my room without my phone and finish everything *SAYS THIS OUT LOUD WITH CONVICTION

(despite the fact that someone told me i have the attention span of a housefly HAHAHAHAHAHA)

quite true la.

(cos while typing out the prev paragraph i noticed my nails were chipped and went and searched for a nail clipper and then saw that Dogs 101 was showing on Animal Planet so i went to sit down and watched tv for a few hours but at least i'm back finishing this post) (even though it's the most unbeneficial crap anyone has ever read) hahahaahaha

sorry ah

i forgot what i wanted to blog about btw.

uhm a list of songs to make up for that ?

Ivory Road - King Charles
Lonely Boy - The Black Keys
Mad World - Gary Jules
1957 - Milo Greene
Let Her Go - Passenger
Thrash Unreal - Against Me
Tautou - The Narrative
Gimme Twice - The Royal Concept

p/s: i rather waste my time doing this instead of studying

i just want AS exams to be over and sleep for one week straight. emo shit.

Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; 
they shall mount up with wings like eagles; 
they shall run and not be weary; 
they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:30-31

-

okay. I just realize how terribly incapable I am of dealing with stress.
sure, I figured it out last year when I went without sleep for 2-3 weeks pre and during SPM (not worth it at all -_______________-) and earlier this year when some pretty shitty stuff happened and I had to skip classes to stay home -______________________-

(now that i think of it it wasn't that shitty i was just being lame)
(okay but right at that moment it scared me so bad so idk maybe it was*contradicting)

but what kinda person doesn't sleep for 3 days in a row and freaks her parents out by breaking down and sobbing on the phone at 5 in the morning over MATH

oh hi there.

and that was done sans caffeine

pathetic-ness level > infinity

OK DUN CARE D MY EXAMS END ON THE 22ND OF NOVEMBER I WILL SLEEP EVEN IF I HAVE TO RESORT TO SLEEPING PILLS/FLU MEDICINE/ANY OTHER SOURCE OF MEDICATION WHICH INDUCES SLEEP OR ELSE I WILL LOOK LIKE SHIT AND FAIL EVERYTHING *says everything in one breath with determination

and that doesn't work then i'll just look like shit and fail everything

ahahahahahaah. and i will sleep tonight instead of staying up to watch TV *DETERMINATION

a week or two before my exams started : 

Sushi Bonanza 4 days in a row HAHA // Korean food w/ Dad (i can't stop proclaiming how much I love kimchi) - HI MY NAME IS MELISA AND I LOVE KIMCHI // doggy kisses // amazing homemade pork burgers w/ bacon @ Brussels Beer Cafe, Gurney Paragon, and the price is pretty reasonable :D on par with Marshall's la

 Lunch @ Seoul Garden, Gurney, felt really sick after that but then it comes with having no self control  ^^ // dinner @ E-Gate's Secret Recipe and we decided it'd be weird to not order cakes so there , calories // MooCow Froyo FTW // breakoutzzzz shitzzzzz ok but at least now better d after using face masks

shopping spree w/ Mum  //  Clarence's dog so cute omg fur damn shiny some more // Panicked - Started studying // Chocolate chips and walnuts, best snack ever, but my mum got kinda pissed cause i finished 1kg worth of walnuts within a week and ya pimples cause of this so now must find smthg else to snack on hmm

Hahaha Wendy sent me this and I find it cute //earrings // super lame convos with Wendy ahahaha

okay so my blog -> stress, food, stress, vain pictures, stress

and i stopped going to the gym/jogging > 2 weeks d #fail

okay bye. Bio paper in 5 days SHYTEX

@Starbucks, Gurney Tower -> this is what we do instead of studying.

oh and i have ......................

acne now. FML.

i always look like shit during exam periods and sien wei exams mean must go out into the world looking like shit cannot stay at home and continue eating junk food 24/7 and being blissfully ignorant of my expanding thighs/waistline/face/idk

point.

 it's pretty sad that it doesn't work that way right, that the person you have feelings for don't always feel the same for you, that you can sit there all day waiting for X to go online to call and X goes off to someone else who doesn't give a shit about  (like you do)

and you end up reaching for that bucket of ice-cream cause feelings need to be eaten 

reality check, liking someone doesn't mean they HAVE to like you back 

it's so damn sad. 

it's so sad that all i want to do is curl up in ball , hide in a corner and stay there forever

now i'm convinced i'll end up being categorized as one of those "50 , lives alone with 99 pugs" type of people. HAHAHA WTH

-------> thoughts when it's 4AM and i can't sleep

and my AS exam starts in exactly ONE WEEK *FREAKS OUT . BEEN GOING OUT EVERYDAY INSTEAD OF STUDYING DIE LA DIE LA DIE LA DIE LA DIE LA.

I WANT A PUG AHHHHHH.

BYE

p/s: me when i don't sleep

hate studying hate A levels hate Bio hate Chemi hate Math wanna sit at home and watch TV and eat chips and grow damn fat ok bye

i really should be out tonight, but since i'm stuck in the hostel, might as well blog la

(ok last post till AS, which is on the 17th of Oct arghhh i was more kam cheong for spm i think and this is way harder some more, dunno what's wrong with me)

 Haagen Dazs @ Autocity, i want the chocolate fondue T_T // brunch @ Chill's , Gurney, played True or Dare HAHA never wanna go back d so embarrassing // lalalalalalalala in class // met up with Vinson and his college friends for lunch @ Love Bites

 @ Clark Hatch gym, went 4 times in a week- achievement unlocked, the kickboxing/cardio/steps class damn exhausting T_T // MARSHALL'S BURGER . DAMN YUMMY // Buffalo chicken sandwich @ Chicago Rib House, Gurney, went shopping with the guys // rainy days

awesome jelly made by Clarence's maid // found this pict funny // Wendyyyyyyyyyyyyyy // hair doesn't look that short anymore right right

WOOHOO chemistry

i hate feeling all alone. (no not the i don't have a bf/gf so sad someone anyone plz can come hold me sort)

just. you know. alone.

shitz so much more to study not gonna sleep tonight adbabsfiws!##

what am i doing in A Levels Science again?

oh yah i wanna be a dentist and spend the rest of my life staring at decayed molars and reminding people to floss their teeth (even though I can't be bothered to do it myself sometimes) 

plus i think it's really cool to have the 'Dr' title hahahaha *childish (i know you don't necessarily have to be a doctor/dentist to be given that title but still) (and i can't imagine studying for a PHD wth)

but I am so blardy lazy. so lazy that I'm watching Masterchef even though my trials is in 4 days

*in despair . 

ok i think i sorta give up on trials and AS d. I already plan to retake everything next year -_____- (I even told my mum d -___-) next year i'll start studying properly. i know i say that all the time but serious d. 

and this post is pointless ahahaha. 

mhmm

sorry ah, i cannot sympathize with/relate to people with boyfriend problems. especially people who download shows using the hostel's wifi (SO SELFISH WEI) or talk on the phone/Skype damn loud when I'm trying to figure out the the number of chiral carbons in some stupid hydrcarbon 

and no i'm not really sorry.

p/s: took me half an hour of reloading to post this. 
p/p/s: GODAI CAN ANOT .______________.

HI SEPTEMBER

p/s: going to sleep cause i'm still super full after lunch at Gurney