I actually feel really upset now because it's a long weekend ahead and I should be back home but here I am sitting in the hostel alone.

Hey my boyfriend blogs

louieongg.blogspot.com

I feel threatened by this 5'5 female.

Oh I miss you. 

read

Been trying to get back into reading. Not flippant attempts at finishing a book on a long car ride or skimming through a few pages half-halfheartedly, but actual, sitting down, without my phone in vicinity and devour an entire book. 

Yeah.

Anyway, quotes from a few books. 

1. Jenny Han, To All The Boys I'd Loved Before

"When someone's been gone a long time, at first you save up all the things you want to tell them. You try to keep track of everything in your head. But it's like trying to hold on to a fistful of sand: all the little bits slip out of your hands, and then you're just clutching air and grit. That's why you can't save it all up like that. 

Because by the time you finally see each other, you're catching up only on the big things, because it's too much bother to tell about the little things. But the little things are what make up life.” 

“Plenty of people are good-looking. That doesn't make them interesting or intriguing or cool.” 

2. Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl 

“Tampon commercial, detergent commercial, maxi pad commercial, windex commercial - you'd think all women do is clean and bleed.” 

“I often don't say things out loud, even when I should. I contain and compartmentalize to a disturbing degree: In my belly-basement are hundreds of bottles of rage, despair, fear, but you'd never guess from looking at me.”  

“Because isn’t that the point of every relationship: to be known by someone else, to be understood? He gets me. She gets me. Isn’t that the simple magic phrase?” 

“Because you can’t be as in love as we were and not have it invade your bone marrow. Our kind of love can go into remission, but it’s always waiting to return. Like the world’s sweetest cancer.”  

“Love makes you want to be a better man. But maybe love, real love, also gives you permission to just be the man you are.”  

“There’s a difference between really loving someone and loving the idea of her.” 

3. Jodi Picoult,

Nineteen Minutes 

“You don't need water to feel like you're drowning, do you?”  

“In nineteen minutes, you can mow the front lawn; color your hair; watch a third of a hockey game. In nineteen minutes, you can bake scones or get a tooth filled by a dentist; you can fold laundry for a family of five.In nineteen minutes, you can stop the world; or you can just jump off it.”  

“I don't know what you think of me. And you certainly would never picture us together. But probably peanut butter was just peanut butter for a long time, before someone ever thought of pairing it with jelly. And there was salt, but it started to taste better when there was pepper. And what's the point of butter without bread? Anyway by myself I'm nothing special. But with you I could be.”  

“Do you know how there are moments when the world moves so slowly you can feel your bones shifting, your mind tumbling? When you think that no matter what happens to you for the rest of your life, you will remember every last detail of that one minute forever?” 

The Pact

“I, um, I have this problem. I broke up with my boyfriend, you see. And I'm pretty upset about it, so I wanted to talk to my best friend. The thing is, they're both you.” 

Second Glance

“Did you ever walk through a room that's packed with people, and feel so lonely you can hardly take the next step?”  

“Words, for all they were flimsy and invisible, had great strength. They could be fortified as a castle wall and sharp as a foil. They could bite, slap, shock, wound. But unlike deeds, words couldn't really help you. No promise ever rescued a person; it was the carrying-through of it that brought about salvation.” 

4. Dorothy Koomson,

Marshmallows For Breakfast

“She believed that owning a lots of things made you a better person. She didn't know - possibly didn't want to know - that happiness comes from the inside.” 

“But feelings aren't like thoughts, they can't be changed at will.” 

My Best Friend's Girl

“Crying was an acceptable outlet, even if it made you feel raw and empty inside, it was still better than that build up of resentment that grew from not letting your emotions out.” 

I really don't have much to do. Now, a week later I'll probably say different. First week back for classes, I wish I were home instead. Waiting for a Skype call. Hahahahahahaha. Goodnight!

I'm a list sort of person.

Haven't made one in a while.

Minor accomplishments, today I :

1. Made my bed

2. Stopped at one cup of coffee

3. Remembered my umbrella

4. Wasn't late for class

5. Sat through my first two classes of my Second Year in Law School

6. Spent within budget

7. Did the Ice Bucket Challenge

8. Did laundry

9. Felt a little less sad a lot more happy

10. (in all honesty waking up when the alarm went off is one on it's own)

I'll do better tomorrow

The things I want to say

The things I want to say

They're specks of dust glinting in the sunlight, they don't bother you much until you run your finger across a piece of furniture, notice the dust bunnies peeking out beneath the bed and that the curtains aren't the light pastel color you once picked out, then they start to irritate you and you just want to get rid of them. 

They don't come in fancy phrases, they're raw and unfiltered, harsh and unforgiving, rough and unrelenting

Maybe for this very reason, for the distance they take, to travel out of your mouth, they collide into hazards and red flags, neon warning signs flashing furiously for retreat. 

So I retract them just in time and they remain the things I want to say. 

But I never do because the things I want to say are the things I feel the most.

I still want to feel. 

can i be more

it's the first of August already I'm not ready this is too much I wake up past noon and I'm ready for naps by 3pm I forget to use punctuation I don't sip tea from fancy chinaware and contemplate life I'm only at S4E1 of Game Of Thrones and the spoilers are all over the net my books are not arranged in accordance to authors/genres it annoys me but I'd been out everyday and when I'm home I'm tired I love the TV I hate the Wifi at home I'd been planning to call and complain I eat out more than I should I try to lay off coffee but it's not working I get headaches without them I don't work out anymore I lost my running shoes when we moved I wish we had Ikea here I keep coming up with excuses I'm sleepy did I tell you that my head hurts and I really want tomyam now and more sleep 5 more months till 2015 hmm okay

I am not ready for life itself.

Going out in a bit.

kkkkkkkkkkkkkk. bye.