degree of how screwed up i am :
1.overslept twice this week
2. i'm skipping Biology class right now to study for Moral test
3. which happens to be in 3 hours and I have 10 chapters to cover, and in need of 80/100 to pass because i screwed up the previous ones so my average is a 40 which is a fail. numbers numbers
4. yet here i sit (with greasy, unwashed hair) staring blankly at a blog i haven't given much thought about in ages and contemplating pressing the delete button , knowing it's something i'll never bring myself to do
5. spent an entire week downloading music instead of studying
6. realizing every post (recent one anyways that i type out absent-mindedly) is related to me studying . or the lack of it.
7. had a rather conspicuous amount of biscuits which costs 30 cents per packet and is suspiciously addictive . (it's so cheap weih i ate 20 packets already)
that's it. i'm stopping at 7.
being reminded of your past isn't exactly delightful, and i mean those awful self-deprecating moments you have when you're 15 and in one of those phases of feeling vulnerable to the slightest criticisms or unloved or attacked and lashing out without weighing the consequences or reasoning
it's all really silly now.
i can't bring myself to delete those posts because it's all those 'moments' , as insignificant and trivial they are, they make me, and now they're a reminder that certain people don't matter a few years down the road, and really, are certain things worth the tears and worrying?
few things really do.
i still lose myself now and then. it's something i can't explain but it happens . it's why i really like being alone at times, to just reflect, pray and bring myself back because it's so easy to be swallowed up by everything.
*feels grateful that i don't have a roommate.
and now, i start Moral
