Missing home so badly. Trying not to check air tickets every few hours (I'd been studying the trend of the prices more than any law textbooks)
I............................................can overcome this.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
no promises
I'd always refused to be convinced that people could change.
That's it.
They could go through this revamp, might it be a meteoric rise, materialized overnight, done on impulse, fueled by one of those articles titled 'It Only Takes 60 Days To Form A Habit'***,
or it could be a process that devours time, undying commitment, an unwavering stance and in return, promises to spit you out a 'different person'.
***I made this up I'm sure they have catchier titles, personally I wouldn't read an article that requires anything less than 7 Days to accomplish something
Of course this was when I was much younger and rather cynical.
Also, this was backed up by this childish theory based on my own life*** that embarrasses me.
***I am very disorganized
(if I were to be a 100% honest here, I would replace 'disorganized' with 'sloppy')
(According to my Dad, online statements like these are what will keep me unemployed in the future when our fate is determined by background checks on every post splattered on the social media - no wonder on FB he's constantly sharing inspiring quotes in pretty fonts against more inspiring backgrounds captioned with more inspiring words)
(Apparently I like to put myself into jeopardy)
But I am.
PRIME EXAMPLE :
When I was in Primary, I started off every year with 7 different colored files, pencils sharpened to the same length, bag packed in accordance to the height of each textbook.
Then from the 3rd day everything just.......disintegrated. I was dreadful. As much as someone with OCD can't stand filing Bahasa Melayu Karangan worksheets under 'Science' , I was the opposite.
It was almost this apprehension to be caught with worksheets that weren't creased and looked like they have been balled up and tossed around the room (most of the time they came close to that treatment) and using a ruler (my Mathematics formulas were pieces of art) and a desk with a compartment beneath that wasn't cluttered with junk.
I was dreadful*** I wasn't even that ashamed parading around with torn textbooks.
*** I realize the repeated usage of this word which by usual standards might be appalling but then i have also used 'i mean' 4 times in a tweet (we're limited to 140 characters and i waste them on 'i mean')
Up till this point of furious typing (which is how I type when I blog if only I manage an equivalent intensity when I'm going at my assignments)
I realize.................. this post is going no where (besides making myself out to be more dreadful*** than I was originally perceived to be)
***treading on thin ice here
The point, now the point is, until this day, this trait, is still glaringly apparent. Pep talks (from myself...to myself), incessant nagging (from my Mum) , horrified looks (from my roommate(s)/bestf) haven't done much.
I don't know why I strayed so much from the first line and centered this post on the dusty desktop and unfolded clothes strewn across my hostel room (definitely not housewife material)
I should stop
END OF PRIME EXAMPLE
In all honesty I was putting off studying for Spanish mid-terms.
That's it.
They could go through this revamp, might it be a meteoric rise, materialized overnight, done on impulse, fueled by one of those articles titled 'It Only Takes 60 Days To Form A Habit'***,
or it could be a process that devours time, undying commitment, an unwavering stance and in return, promises to spit you out a 'different person'.
***I made this up I'm sure they have catchier titles, personally I wouldn't read an article that requires anything less than 7 Days to accomplish something
Of course this was when I was much younger and rather cynical.
Also, this was backed up by this childish theory based on my own life*** that embarrasses me.
***I am very disorganized
(if I were to be a 100% honest here, I would replace 'disorganized' with 'sloppy')
(According to my Dad, online statements like these are what will keep me unemployed in the future when our fate is determined by background checks on every post splattered on the social media - no wonder on FB he's constantly sharing inspiring quotes in pretty fonts against more inspiring backgrounds captioned with more inspiring words)
(Apparently I like to put myself into jeopardy)
But I am.
PRIME EXAMPLE :
When I was in Primary, I started off every year with 7 different colored files, pencils sharpened to the same length, bag packed in accordance to the height of each textbook.
Then from the 3rd day everything just.......disintegrated. I was dreadful. As much as someone with OCD can't stand filing Bahasa Melayu Karangan worksheets under 'Science' , I was the opposite.
It was almost this apprehension to be caught with worksheets that weren't creased and looked like they have been balled up and tossed around the room (most of the time they came close to that treatment) and using a ruler (my Mathematics formulas were pieces of art) and a desk with a compartment beneath that wasn't cluttered with junk.
I was dreadful*** I wasn't even that ashamed parading around with torn textbooks.
*** I realize the repeated usage of this word which by usual standards might be appalling but then i have also used 'i mean' 4 times in a tweet (we're limited to 140 characters and i waste them on 'i mean')
Up till this point of furious typing (which is how I type when I blog if only I manage an equivalent intensity when I'm going at my assignments)
I realize.................. this post is going no where (besides making myself out to be more dreadful*** than I was originally perceived to be)
***treading on thin ice here
The point, now the point is, until this day, this trait, is still glaringly apparent. Pep talks (from myself...to myself), incessant nagging (from my Mum) , horrified looks (from my roommate(s)/bestf) haven't done much.
I don't know why I strayed so much from the first line and centered this post on the dusty desktop and unfolded clothes strewn across my hostel room (definitely not housewife material)
I should stop
END OF PRIME EXAMPLE
In all honesty I was putting off studying for Spanish mid-terms.
if I end every post with a picture captioned 'Craving for Magic Matcha!! / omg I want tomyam naooo / pancakes plzzzz ' how juvenile do I sound
(the bottom line is I might believe that someone could change wholeheartedly, I say might but I have Spanish to study for and I refuse to elaborate)
I can do this ! *oozes enthusiasm that lasts the same amount of time contentment from a bar of chocolate brings before guilt kicks in (about 10 minutes)
I can do this ! *oozes enthusiasm that lasts the same amount of time contentment from a bar of chocolate brings before guilt kicks in (about 10 minutes)
Bye!
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Friday, October 24, 2014
Pasta or Pancakes
Hi there,
Momentarily distracted because
1. I have the attention span of a housefly
2. this picture is distracting
3. I'm supposed to be drafting an employment contract/doing law related assignments (or to be exact find out the assignments due some time next week/month)
I really want Nutella now.
I don't understand people who pick pasta over Nutella and chocolate chip pancakes (ie Louie Ong)
Do you see a pattern forming here .....
Goodnight!
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
5 things.
5 things when you attempt a 2.3-2.7k words law assignment 3 days before it's due date
1 / bibliography the heck out of everything just toss it all into the footnotes section and be done with it
2 / you are so much better at bs-ing then you ever thought you would be. embrace it.
3 / exploit thesaurus. milk it for all it's worth.
4 / enjoy little leaps of joy (or waves of panic) when you check your Word Count every 3 minutes
5 / stop telling yourself you can leave it till the day before.
(also don't kid yourself this is a routine you'll never break free from relish in it till the end of your degree)
(I hope I make it till then)
*panics*
p/s: I started on this assignment 2 weeks ago started strong with 24 words 2 weeks later I'm still at 24 words today I reread those 24 words and ended up punching the backspace button that's the end of my 24 words period.
1 / bibliography the heck out of everything just toss it all into the footnotes section and be done with it
2 / you are so much better at bs-ing then you ever thought you would be. embrace it.
3 / exploit thesaurus. milk it for all it's worth.
4 / enjoy little leaps of joy (or waves of panic) when you check your Word Count every 3 minutes
5 / stop telling yourself you can leave it till the day before.
(also don't kid yourself this is a routine you'll never break free from relish in it till the end of your degree)
(I hope I make it till then)
*panics*
p/s: I started on this assignment 2 weeks ago started strong with 24 words 2 weeks later I'm still at 24 words today I reread those 24 words and ended up punching the backspace button that's the end of my 24 words period.
I want Auntie Anne's chocolate coated pretzels :(
But I deserve no sympathy so .......................
Monday, October 13, 2014
其实；
其实，有了爱情，最幸福的就是两个人的爱简简单单；
其实， 告诉一个人‘我爱你’，何必再加上’虽然’ 这两个字；
其实，爱了就不应有了条件；
其实，说不出爱一个人的原因并不是不好的事， 如果你说，“我爱你因为爱上你的笑，你体谅的性格’， 那么，有一天她不再微笑，不再对你那么有耐心，就不爱了吗；
其实，爱是一个选择；
其实，两方没人应该受任何的委屈；
其实，幸福了。
Sunday, October 12, 2014
breaking it.
I'd been in this cycle. Viscous cycle. That's how everyone labels cycles, no? Viscous.
on the 17th of May 2013, I said,
" it's a cycle, you grab all these feelings of yours, bundle them up, grab a shovel, bury them as close to the core of the earth as you can get, mother nature shifts, thunderstorms, earthquakes, floods, all these feelings you find disdainful and discarded without a second thought, today you find them spewed out, washed up, all laid out in the open
and the irony when you discover them at your doorstep, right where they once belong."
Today. I refuse to celebrate sadness anymore.
Because that was exactly what I have always done in the past.
Why do posts on slit wrists, quotes on being suicidal, empty eyes receive the highest number of reblogs on Tumblr?
________________________________________________________________
I'd always hung on to this notion that I could forgive.
You don't forgive on your own strength.
Try and it turns into you clinging on to a plank of wood in this desperate attempt to stay afloat, while the rise and fall of the sea level, one minute perfectly still, deceives you with hope of survival, the next it pulls you under, leaving you to choke and gasp for air.
There are things I don't like bringing up.
Can I say this.
God is so real.
Training, not trying to not make the same mistakes again.
on the 17th of May 2013, I said,
" it's a cycle, you grab all these feelings of yours, bundle them up, grab a shovel, bury them as close to the core of the earth as you can get, mother nature shifts, thunderstorms, earthquakes, floods, all these feelings you find disdainful and discarded without a second thought, today you find them spewed out, washed up, all laid out in the open
and the irony when you discover them at your doorstep, right where they once belong."
Today. I refuse to celebrate sadness anymore.
Because that was exactly what I have always done in the past.
Why do posts on slit wrists, quotes on being suicidal, empty eyes receive the highest number of reblogs on Tumblr?
________________________________________________________________
I'd always hung on to this notion that I could forgive.
You don't forgive on your own strength.
Try and it turns into you clinging on to a plank of wood in this desperate attempt to stay afloat, while the rise and fall of the sea level, one minute perfectly still, deceives you with hope of survival, the next it pulls you under, leaving you to choke and gasp for air.
There are things I don't like bringing up.
Can I say this.
God is so real.
Training, not trying to not make the same mistakes again.
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