most of the time it's a struggle to not give up on everything.

most of the time I want to stay in and sleep for a week straight but I can't even manage 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

most of the time I wish-

for things I'll never get.

my personal statement

for the past hour, my fingers have been lingering over the keyboard, occasionally clicking sounds can be heard, they start off hesitantly, pauses between words such as 'ambitious' 'career' and 'thought-provoking'', then forcefully as the delete button is punched at repeatedly

I cannot make myself accommodate such words to so effortlessly frame a lie depicting the person I am not.

I cannot do this personal statement.

If I didn't have an audience to impress, my personal statement would be a compilation of my daily tweets and a couple of my blog posts

- etc :

 1. I just really need a degree. After all I am in my second year and I am paying my fees and a string of Bs is decent right??? You have to take me in! *voice escalates 5 pitches higher
(me arguing on a case)

2. I wanted to write for a living. I suppose it was the peak of my unrealistic phase of attempting to be ambitious before settling for law. Of course I was 10 and into Enid Blyton.
(me on my ambition(s))

3. I wouldn't claim to be highly interested in politics but I would say a good 50% of my Facebook/Twitter friends are judging by the amount of 'Results from Anwar's case' and Sedition charges' posts I have to wade through on my newsfeed. Occasionally I click on them and skim through the contents. Admittedly only if more than 50 people share the same post and I resort to doing it out of curiosity.
(me if they insist on inquiring into my involvement in politics)

4. I do sympathise with the oppressed and victims of injustice. But really, last semester I had to draft an employment contract and brief a case on behalf of a disgruntled ex-employee and still, I stay silent when I don't get paid months after a job.
(me if they question me on my stand in fighting for women/children rights)

This personal statement will get me places.

I get so frustrated nowadays. Sometimes it happens between a 'Hi' and 'How are you'.

Maybe I'm just really bored with everything around me.

I'm only at page109/1318 of Murakami's 1Q84.

I should start writing better pieces instead of updating this whiny 12 year old's diary of a blog.

5

here are a few of my greatest feats today :

1. washed my hair under 25 minutes

(Truth - I was aiming for 45 minutes because I had nothing to do for the rest of the day but you can only shampoo and condition your hair along to Iggy's Work for so long before your arms start aching)

2. finished about 750ml of soy milk at 10pm

(Truth - It's 1am now and I finished the entire carton, thats 1litre which only sounds slightly more comforting than 1000ml)

3. am at episode 48 of The Empress of China

(Truth - I'm starting to have dreams in which everyone has porcelain like features and are dressed in robes and are adorned with head ornaments)

4. ate 4 bars of chocolate

(Truth - I don't even regret my actions)

5. managed 2 minutes of The Bold & The Bootiful Workout! by blogilates before shuddering and collapsing onto the couch

(Truth ^)


well that's it. I think 5 is a good number to stop at. No one adds 6 or 9 items to a list. The thought of it makes me twitch. Lists should always end at 5 or 10 or 20.

(Truth - 5 is all I have)

I think I'll start on my UCAS application and get my driving license sometime this week.

(Truth - Right now I have my hair pushed back, a face mask on, and am seated in a fairly unflattering position that manages to enhance both my double chin and the size of my thighs) 

Yes goodnight.

in real life

In real life, I am barely 5 feet 1. And I place much emphasis on the 1.

In real life, I have unruly hair that requires frequent wash & blow visits at the saloon.

In real life, I slur my words and my voice escalates to a higher pitch when I get excited.

In real life, I get excited a lot.

In real life, I would dash across a street oblivious of incoming vehicles to pet a puppy.

In real life, I squeal 'omg shit' a lot.

In real life, I spend 10 frustrated minutes jamming a key in the wrong direction before unlocking a door

In real life, I have an affinity for starting my sentences with 'hey do you wanna know about' and trail off with 'oh never mind's.

Would you like me in real life

I like cake.

Griffiths Cafe Pastries Project : Michelle's Kitchen 

Hello there. So I am no baker. Neither can I tell the difference between self-rising and all-purpose flour (even when the packaging is labelled with capitalised letters) But if there’s one thing I’m sure of is the making of a good dessert (Thank you Mum for the many years of cake tasting and cookie batter eating opportunities you granted to me) (Also I wake up to the smell of freshly baked pastries almost everyday)

No I’m not Michelle. (very obviously obvious*) and I don’t own a kitchen (yet or anytime soon). 

*sorry if my grammar made you cringe I really had to make a point

That’s all my Mum. I would sit her down for an interview but it’s 2.15AM now and the only time my Mum is awake at 2.15AM is because she has cakes/pies to be baked. Not even kidding. 

So for every dig you take into that slice of cake with your fork, every mouthful of the perfect balance of sweetness = pure passion 

(lol)

At this point I should be in shame of the addition of 'can't make a cake without making a wrong calculation of the weight of butter needed' to my long list of Melisa's incapabilities.

Don't worry. If you order a cake, I won't be making any measurements.

I just take a lot of photos. and blog. and eat a lot of cake.

 Mum and Holland Pie 

(if you noticed I don't do food descriptions because it's something I can't manage well usually I end up listing all the ingredients, etc upon biting into this pie you will discover blueberries, almonds, cream cheese...)

my Mum shouldn't know about the use of her photo on my social media accounts in fact she shouldn't know about any of my social media accounts kidding 

maybe I aspire to convert everyone into having a 80% cake diet.

I can tell that it's working.

Louie who once claimed ' Who would eat cake, cake is horrible, cake is not food' (yes till today I gasp in horror) had cake cravings a couple of days ago. 

There he was sitting on the couch, casually looking up and saying 'I feel like having cake'

*shiny eyes

*rubs hand in glee

Yes anyway. 

to join our cult

In case you happen to have such cravings *intense stare

contact us! 

Social Platforms :

Instagram @ michellekitchen_gf

Facebook Page @ http://www.facebook.com/michellekitchengf

Email @ michellekitchengf@outlook.com

Contact Number @ +60198188438

Goodnight ! 

*more intense staring

#AppreciationPost1

Once, in the midst of a conversation in the car,  Louie swivelled around -

(yes he manages to spin around in the driver's seat the same way one would in an office chair, also he is equipped with the talent of multitasking, etc - scrolling through Facebook, pinching both my cheeks, rapping to some nigger song, reading song lyrics, checking Waze and ignoring me, all while manoeuvring through a collection of vehicles, portholes and traffic lights)

(I might be exaggerating I might not be)

(He drives me everywhere since I have yet to attain the minimum degree of skills required to handle a car on my own on roads beyond the boundaries of my neighbourhood without being a liability to everyone else)

(in other words, I can't drive)

- and said : 'Do you know what you're really really really good at?' -

(he doesn't usually use a word thrice in a row so he must have really wanted to make a point)

- Me : '*rearranges facial expression to portray the right amount of abashment and delight in anticipation for the flow of compliments* Mhmmmmmm?'

Him : 'You're really really really good at......................... Instagram'

(I still find this amusing 4-5 months later)

I mostly Instagram the better bits of my life, on good hair days, pricey brunches, planned celebrations, array of cakes on display, smiley faces. Sometimes they're filtered so prettily, with all the right setting and lighting, perfect balance of contrasts of colours, they feel so irrelevant. 

The thing about you, is that in no way do I discount our downs. I can't add a fancily named filter to distract away from the flaws or blur out the blemishes. Can't crop out that bit you don't want in your picture. You just learn to stop emphasising on them and start accepting it all.

and it's not hard to do so when the ups outweighs everything else, and it's you.

p/s: this is from the girl who was adamant about turning into a spinster with 50 dogs because 'the whole relationship thing is a lie' and 'what is love if it's not cake'

You're so much better than cake and quesadillas *,*

Also you're my #AppreciationPost1

Hehehehehe. Sorry for the online PDA!